![\"This](\"http:\/\/tedmalexander.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/Song-Lyrics.jpg\" "\\"This")
<\/a>This 1995 book, titled after a famously misunderstood Jimi Hendryx lyric, collected misheard lines from songs.(Photo: Special to the Citizen-Times)<\/p><\/div>\n
Remember that old Christmas song, \u201cLater on, we\u2019ll perspire as we dream by the fire …\u201d<\/p>\n
No? Oh, right, \u201cwe\u2019ll conspire as we dream by the fire.\u201d That\u2019s how the song was originally written.<\/p>\n
Kenny Rogers told Lucille that she\u2019d picked a fine time to leave him with 400 kids and a crop in the field. Actually it was four hungry kids, but what\u2019s a few hundred extra youngsters among friends?<\/p>\n
In the tune, \u201cRock the Boat,\u201d the Hues Corporation sang, \u201cOh, I\u2019d like to know where you got the notion.\u201d For decades it sounded to me like, \u201cOh, I\u2019d like to know where you got the nose job.\u201d<\/p>\n
You hear what you hear.<\/p>\n
There\u2019s a name for a misheard song lyric that changes the intended meaning: \u201cmondegreen.\u201d The term was coined by a writer named Sylvia Wright. For years, she thought a Scottish ballad she\u2019d heard contained the words, \u201cThey hae slain the Earl of Murray and Lady Mondegreen.\u201d Turns out, the actual lyric was \u201cThey hae slain the Earl of Murray and lay him on the green.\u201d<\/p>\n
A lot of the mishearing can be attributed to poor recording studio work, or lyrics designed to mash into the music. Sometimes it\u2019s just a band\u2019s style to launch into the unintelligible.<\/p>\n
But one thing\u2019s for sure: We\u2019ve all sung along using the wrong words. And the results are often funny.<\/p>\n
There\u2019s a line in Merrilee Rush\u2019s hit song \u201cAngel of the Morning\u201d that sounds an awful lot like, \u201cJust count my teeth before you leave me.\u201d<\/p>\n
But no, common sense dictates that\u2019s not it.<\/p>\n
\u201cJust cross my feet before you leave me?\u201d<\/p>\n
Not even close. We\u2019ll revisit Merrilee later.<\/p>\n
A favorite mondegreen is from the J. Geils Band\u2019s hit single \u201cFreeze Frame.\u201d The organ plays a catchy melody while the group shouts the words \u201cFreeze-frame\u201d seven times in the chorus. Someone \u2014 obviously an animal lover \u2014 was convinced that instead of \u201cFreeze-frame,\u201d the band was yelling, \u201cFlea spray!\u201d If that was the case, the lyric would go like this: \u201cStop-time heart for me if she\u2019s not mine … Flea Spray!\u201d<\/p>\n
Yep, that\u2019s pretty hard to top.<\/p>\n
The same band had a hit with the song \u201cCenterfold,\u201d which many thought sounded very much like they were singing \u201cXenophobe.\u201d<\/p>\n
The Sandpipers\u2019 hit single \u201cGuantanamera\u201d sounds like \u201cOne-Ton Maria.\u201d<\/p>\n
In the Beatles\u2019 \u201cLucy in the Sky with Diamonds,\u201d instead of the line, \u201cThe girl with kaleidoscope eyes,\u201d several folks with medical backgrounds insist they\u2019ve heard, \u201cThe girl with colitis goes by.\u201d<\/p>\n
Back to Merrilee: \u201cJust wash my sheets before you leave me.\u201d<\/p>\n
Nope. You still don\u2019t have it.<\/p>\n
I never knew that Jimmy Webb, author of American classics such as \u201cBy the Time I Get to Phoenix\u201d and \u201cGalveston,\u201d had an Asian background. In his huge song \u201cMacArthur Park,\u201d instead of \u201cSomeone left the cake out in the rain,\u201d several folks have heard, \u201cChun Won left the cake out in the rain.\u201d<\/p>\n
Eddie Money sings, \u201cI\u2019ve Got Two Tickets to Paradise.\u201d Some choose to disagree, claiming they\u2019ve heard he has \u201ctwo ticks and a parasite,\u201d \u201ctwo chickens to paralyze,\u201d \u201ctwo Chicklets to sterilize\u201d or \u201ctwo chickens with carrot eyes.\u201d<\/p>\n
Elvis, the king of rock \u2019n\u2019 roll, speaks to \u201ceverybody in the whole cell block,\u201d not to \u201ceverybody in a wholesale frock.\u201d And when he mentions \u201cReturn to Sender,\u201d he\u2019s not pretending to be a Sesame Street acolyte singing \u201cBig Bird Descender.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThere\u2019s a bathroom on the right.\u201d No, not really. Creedence Clearwater Revival is singing \u201cThere\u2019s a bad moon on the rise.\u201d<\/p>\n
Elton John chants, \u201cHold me closer, tiny dancer,\u201d not \u201cHold me closer, Tony Danza.\u201d<\/p>\n
Donuts don\u2019t make Crystal Gayle\u2019s eyes blue. (\u201cDon\u2019t it make my brown eyes blue\u201d is accurate.) The Eagles tell us \u201cYou can\u2019t hide those lying eyes,\u201d not Hawaiian eyes, and Led Zeppelin\u2019s \u201cAll My Love,\u201d is not a tribute to Popeye\u2019s wife, \u201cOlive, My Love.\u201d<\/p>\n
OK, time has run out. The correct lyric line for Merrilee Rush\u2019s song is, \u201cJust touch my cheek before you leave me.\u201d I guess that makes sense. Personally, I like, \u201cJust smash my Jeep before you leave me,\u201d but hey, what do I know?<\/p>\n
Last question before I go. You\u2019ve probably heard the old song with a title sounding like \u201cPapa-Om-Mow-Mow.\u201d Obviously a mondegreen, right? So what would the actual words be? Here\u2019s a twist for you. You heard correctly the first time. Those are the exact words, syllables, whatever you want to call them. Kind of a reverse mondegreen.<\/p>\n
\u201cPapa-Om-Mow-Mow.\u201d That\u2019s the actual title.<\/p>\n
Ted Alexander lives in Asheville. His first novel, \u201cThe Fall of Summer,\u201d a 1960s coming-of-age story, is now on sale at Malaprop\u2019s Bookstore\/Cafe and other online and local retailers. Contact him at TedMAlexander.com\/contact<\/a>.<\/p>\n Learn more about the author and the novel online at http:\/\/tedmalexander.com\/Books.html<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Asheville Citizen-Times 4\/27\/2015 – Ted Alexander, Columnist – Remember that old Christmas song, \u201cLater on, we\u2019ll perspire as we dream by the fire …\u201d No?<\/p>\n<\/a>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_hide_featured_image":false,"_jetpack_featured_image_duplicate_dismissed":0,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-249","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","category-asheville-citizen-times-articles","h-entry","hentry"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7iRM4-41","jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/tedmalexander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/249","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/tedmalexander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/tedmalexander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/tedmalexander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/tedmalexander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=249"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/tedmalexander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/249\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":251,"href":"http:\/\/tedmalexander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/249\/revisions\/251"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/tedmalexander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=249"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/tedmalexander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=249"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/tedmalexander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=249"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}